The Messages

September 16, 2012  11:08 am Sunday

I have been compelled to write this message down.  I am not sure why, but I am not questioning it because the feeling is so strong. 

I feel more strongly than ever, more strongly than I have felt over the past 4 years or so that something BIG is coming – something that will affect all of us.  At first, I thought it was only something for our country – a disaster or attack of a proportion we’d not seen. PTSD from 9/11 I suppose because I am mistaken.  It is far larger than that.

It is difficult for me to think this.  To write it down or believe it without calling into question my sanity, but the feeling is there and others feel it too.

God has spoken to me the way He does, sometimes casually, sometimes miraculously through things I see as answers when I am listening – and it has been a very long time since I’ve paid real attention.  Manny’s death and Eddie’s death have changed that and my trip home where everyone is one with Christ has changed that. I am wearing the scapular now, which bothers him (my husband). But the messages are the same as before.

For me: 

Prepare yourself and others, especially others.  Talk to others.  Be urgent. It is important that they take heed.  I love them.  

 I worried first about my husband.

Pray for "him" and I will take care of him.  He will come to know Me. Pray for those who do not.  Pray for your father. Minister.  Minister with your talents. Go to confession. Urge others to take Communion.  It is the only way. I love you.  Every one of you. 

You are on the right path but more, much more must be done for others.  I will give you the tools. 

You are helping others. (I asked myself, does he mean Eddie or his family?)  Continue on this path of generosity. Make My name foremost in your efforts. 

 And I asked what of my mother?  I received no words, but I felt a sense of a love and peace and pleasure move through me for her – very strong.

He tells me to communicate the following to others: 

Pray, confess, go take the Eucharist – and respect it above all, and pray the Rosary for others. He loves us very much. Hurry. There is urgency.

 This following note was originally out of order, but the thoughts occurred to me yesterday:

September 16, 2012 (continued) while I attended 12:00 Mass at MR.

I was recalling the day I saw Jesus’ image in the clouds.  It was after work as I drove home and passed the golf course.  It was a stormy day.  It hadn’t rained yet, but it was gray and overcast. (I had seen this several months prior, in May.)

His face was in the clouds, and it was so clear.  He was not smiling, or rather, it was not a peaceful sort of face.  It was a somber face.  The clouds were long and gray. The figure stayed for long enough for me to discern it, follow it and finally believe my own eyes, as it was hard to believe.  I remember wondering why other drivers did not seem to see it.  I was astounded by it, disbelieving, excited and again felt crazy, so I was unsure.  I am sure now that He was there.

He has said, or made me to feel, for lack of a better way to say it.... He speaks to me, but it is like a thought that has the ring of truth to it more than an actual voice, so…

He has said that He will open doors for us. He will open doors for us. ****

For me:

He promised to help me bring "S" (my husband) to Him.  And S has already (easily) agreed to lathe a pen for us to raffle.

For others: 

Yes, He said He will open doors for us, with this, and every other endeavor regarding Him. 

He will open doors for those who believe. Pray for them.  Those who do not believe.

For some reason, certain wording is important.  In the journal, I scratched out a lot of mundane words.  For example, I originally wrote “Pray for these.”  I was made to fix it to read “Pray for them.”  It is an insistence I felt throughout.  (And I continue to feel this. 1/8/13)

He says do not judge others. Do not judge others.  That is for Me. And that time is coming or will come.

Love.

I did not understand which one – coming OR will come…this often happens when I will hear two words or tenses or phrases that almost mean the same thing, but I cannot discern which one is wanted, so I write both.  It is as if He wants to be extremely clear.       

For me – a message for me - “Doubting Thomas.” That is who I relate to and who I think has been short-changed historically.

My Lord and my God.  I had asked why on earth would You choose me?!

There is a reason.  *** is not guiding you.  It is Me.  Do not doubt. “It” may happen in your lifetime or it may not.  

 The warning described by the girls at Bandalan {Garabandal}?  I worry that I was influenced by having read their story.  This is that “big something” I’ve felt is coming for years.  At the moment it clicked in my head that It was the Warning, I was curious about how it might feel.  That is when He told me no. 

Do not wish to experience it, for it will be terrible. Pray for the children. (Who will experience it as children). Be vigilant. Do not sway in your belief in Me. Teach others. 

Instill in them this sense of urgency that you feel. It is important.  Even if “it” happens in twenty years or fifty. It could happen now. But everyone must be vigilant. 

Monday, September 17, 2012   7:22 am

I awoke early this morning because it is our 2^nd anniversary and I had a card for S.  I am also very worried about him, his health and the environment in which he is working. When he left, I decided to pray the Rosary on my favorite Rosary.  It belonged to my grandma Vita, my mom’s mother.

             At some point in time, when my godson was just a toddler, my cousin (his mother) and my mom, some 20 years ago, made a pilgrimage to a place – I think in Georgia, US, I’m not sure why – where the Virgin Mary was supposed to be appearing or where the sun was more vibrant or where some people were seeing Jesus.  I can’t remember exactly what it was.  My godson did keep saying “Do you see Jesus?  I see Jesus!”  He was a toddler…

            At any rate, one of the miracles of the experience was that any item that you carried that was silver should turn to gold.  My mother happened to take this rosary that was linked by silver chain connected to wooden beads.  It must be quite old, I think, if it were my Vita’s rosary.  When my mother returned to give it to me, around half, or a little more, of the links had turned gold…no, it was around half and it was amazing.  It was clear enough to compare the silver and gold to confirm there had been a change.  The cross remained silver.

             God has been speaking to me these past couple of days, a lot, and my biggest fear, my doubt, has been that this is a product of too much caffeine.  While the messages are very much in line with what the Church says and the Bible to my knowledge and how I have felt about something big is coming – that I’ve felt for the last few years – that it confirms all of this, still I’ve doubted and feared I was crazy or just plain “making it up in my head to feel special.” I guess that's the best way to put it.  I mean, why choose me for anything?  I know I'm nuts.  I’m not a particularly nice or good person.  I do love God very much and have felt so much stronger of it after being in Texas, but I figure God would go for the nicer types, like my Mom, who is so beautiful and loving and devout.  She is my example.  Or children like the girls from Bandalan (Garabandal). 

             Well…in light of all this, I asked God for a brick, please (I am a very literal, dense individual – it is a joke with my close friends and family.  If you don’t throw a brick at me, I won’t understand you.).  I didn’t want to start something that He hadn’t sent, if you see what I mean, in terms of His messages.  Forgive me.  It’s mighty hard not to feel proud and honored and dumbstruck and special and giddy and absolutely loved when He talks to you.  Even a hug sends me reeling.  You know, those times when you see or hear or feel something that fills your heart up so much you feel it’s overflowing with love – that’s God’s hug.

            So – you see?  I’m giddy – so I had asked for some brick, a sign that told me not to doubt the messages from Him, and He gave me one!  Oh, did He give me one!!  I have to check again because it is almost too much to believe my eyes.  After I prayed the rosary this morning, on my favorite rosary, Vita’s rosary, the rest of the links turned gold.

Additional Note – 9/17/2012 – Our 2^nd anniversary –

            I kept looking at the rosary to see if maybe I was dreaming that the links had turned gold or that I had made a mistake because of the lighting or from sheer sleepiness…

            But no…it’s gold.

(Note that the references to silver and gold do not mean the literal metals but the colors only.  The rosary had links that were the color silver but may have been made of some other metal.  When they changed, it was the color that changed.  The links changed from the color silver to the color gold. )