OCTOBER 2012

Thursday, October 4, 2012 4:56 pm

Today’s talk was not as pronounced as the others.  For the past few weeks, I’ve laid things aside.  Stopped praying the rosary, going to confession, Church…

I’ve kept checking the Rosary over and over.  I showed "K" the Rosary.  I’ve shown it to "S".  Both said it could merely be the natural tarnish that comes with age, but I’ve worried it and looked at it at different times and under different lights.  And it is still gold.  I mean the color, not the metal.  And I’ve felt that if I could will the cross itself to be gold, I would not feel so doubtful…so doubtful of what I see or of what I believe happened or is happening.

Today as I sat upstairs on the floor, preparing really for nothing, I figured I’d do some painting. I had run some errands and thought perhaps I’d try to hit the Church to see if I could catch a priest to chat with, so I had taken the Rosary with me.  Well, I didn’t go to the Church.  So, as I got organized for upstairs (I do all of my painting, writing, reading in our upstairs room.), I grabbed a book, my cell phone, and a soda.  Then I remembered the iPod which was in my purse.  Music.  I got it out of the purse and saw the bag with the Rosary. 

I thought that it didn’t seem nice to leave it in there in my purse, so I put it on the box where I usually keep my wedding ring.  But still, it was pulling on me.  Like it was nagging, “no, take me with you upstairs.”  It was like it was pulling on my skirt and wouldn’t stop.  So I brought it up.  As I got everything together on the floor, I debated on what I wanted to do…Computer?  Read?  Paint?  Study?  Then I thought about the Rosary again and I missed hearing from God.  I thought, well perhaps K was right and I was obsessing and caffeinated.  Everything was exacerbated.  ***…I looked at it again – it still looks gold but I still feel I need my Mom’s verification to show me I’m not crazy.  I need to know that it happened – that God changed the color of the Rosary.

So as I was sitting on the floor, chewing on what to do, I see my Bible and say,

            “God, hi.  I’d like to hear from You again, because I’m kind of feeling a bit nuts and like I’ve made the whole thing up.  Can you just direct me to a Bible passage that’s really clear.  Thanks and PS I love You too.”

When He speaks to me, He is far more powerful and beautiful.  And of course He answered.

I am not sure who this message was for, but it was frightening: 

First, right at this moment we are at a very bad time in the world. Our leaders are false,

And they are leading those who follow them like sheep over a cliff. At the bottom of that cliff is a fire like that in a volcano. We must work to show others the right way. Show them How I Love them and want them… safe or having the feeling of My love or in My hands. 

War is coming. Pray for the priests that they do not become led astray by those who would lead the people – (like) Sheep over the edge of the cliff into the fire.  There is no return for those who fall. It is starting. Pray for the little ones. They will cry when their mothers’ hands turn to dust or sand.  

I had a very strong vision of my cousin - one of her boys was reaching to hug her and her him.  But as she kneeled in front of him, almost touching him, she turned gray and crumbled into dust. Then I had a vision that I was unsure about – whether it was from God or unrelated, so I questioned it.  The (earth) world from outer space is ablaze.  The view of it from dark space is a fireball in black space (universe). It spins as the fire goes around.

For me:   Because I had been doubting my eyes so much and continuously looking at the rosary to see if I had lost my mind…  He led me to the New Testament – John 5:5  Cure on the Sabbath. 

The answer, Linda, is not about the Rosary. It is about Me. My Word.  My Father.           

My literal verbal response:     OH!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012 9:34 pm

***** I see a strong vision of the Cross at a short distance with quiet sundown – purple, dark blue, pink, orange hues.  

(I had to tell someone I care about something difficult....about a child) Not sure but zebras had been in my head for a couple of weeks now.

Think of the perfect horse. It is perfection.  Brown, tall, wondrous. Then, there comes a horse that is white and black and black and white. And he is a wonder!  All other horses come to see him because he is unique. For a long time, he does not want this duty. 

But as he grows, he comes to understand, it is his cross. *** 

 Hurry, there is urgency.  Pray for our priests and the children especially…***

Friday, October 12, 2012  9:42 am

 Over the past two days or so, I have been violently chicken – afraid.  I’ve wanted to run like Jonah to hide somewhere so that the Lord will use someone else instead of me – I keep seeing myself in a big whale’s mouth. 

I read Exodus 1-4 as my mother suggested and totally understood why Moses balked.  But I argued, at least Moses had a staff that turned into a snake and could call in the frogs.  I have a cool rosary that no one believes turns colors. 

 Don’t worry.  I will provide the tools.

****

As I was praying the rosary this morning, I prayed for the atheists I hear from (online) when I write about how God only wants to love them, or how abortion is killing poor babies.  They say such hateful things about God.  They laugh at Him and say people are stupid for believing in something that does not exist.  They call Him a make-believe character like Santa Claus or the tooth-fairy.  They blaspheme in uglier ways. 

 I prayed that I could be a shield between our Lord and all those mean, angry things.  They hurt Him so much.  It is like refusing to love an innocent child who has its arms extended for an embrace.  Who can resist a child?  He does not understand how people can resist His love.  I want to be a shield between Him and anything that hurts His feelings.  It makes me so sad too.  

 This is somehow a message but also a lament. 

His heart is broken by these people, so we must very much pray for them and pray hard.

 It is not enough for me to get between Him and their words. I am not enough of a shield but He loves me for my effort. People must understand how they hurt Him.

I prayed also for my father and husband as I am supposed to.  When I pray for my mother, I feel nothing but warmth and peace.  I pray for the priests: 

And feel how so many are not…as focused (there is something else, another description) or

They are trying to change the tenets of the Church to fit society….. On God and His Will as they must be.  ***

I prayed for the children. For those who have been born and those who are yet to be born who are in their mothers’ wombs now. 

As I finished my prayers, God said to me:  You see how easy it is to do what I am asking of you?  Is it so hard to pray your rosary and to share My Words? Have I asked you to do the impossible?  Why are you so frightened? You must pray your rosary and share My Words.

Do not be afraid. You do not need to run away from Me in fear. Silly child.  It is I who gives you breath and I who will give you strength and I who will protect you and I who loves you and I who created you. How can you be so afraid of your Father? 

Peace in your heart.

And I felt at peace.

Monday, October 15, 2012 12:47 pm

****  And suddenly I was allowed to feel what God felt when He is rejected, and it sucked the air from my lungs, it hurt so much.

When we reject God, He feels like this. We break His heart but it is far worse because there are so many who reject Him. He doesn’t understand why His pleas are rejected.

He wants His priests to draw His people in and allow those who would take the Eucharist into their hearts with love and desire and fervency, to draw them in and leave no one in despair of the Church. *****

Teach people.  Rejection is not of God. He feels our rejection and it is a scourge on His palm of love. (You cannot) or (You must not) add to the heavy-heartedness of people. 

There is already too much. That is a message to all people. It was not meant for the Church.

Love the little ones and know, Linda, your heart is safely in My hands. Feel at peace.

After this, I felt so much better.  I had felt nauseous and sad all of Sunday and woke up feeling the same way until now.  I wanted some confirmation that I wasn’t pushing myself on these words, so I opened the Bible. Randomly, I found a place and started reading the Book of Kings after all of the talk and details of building houses, when Solomon prays.

He says, we all sin.  Against our neighbors and God as well.  God will hear us and accept us if we are humble and sorry.  He will bring back the rain or remove the swarms of locusts if we apologize, pray, and love Him. This was a relief for me, to know that when God shocks everybody with whatever is coming, people will still have a chance at redemption.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012 12:47 pm

**** God allowed me to feel what was equivalent to a grain of sand of the complete pain He feels when we reject him.  To think of it makes me so sad.  I can’t bear it.  It makes it hard to breathe.  For Him to allow me to feel it is inexplicable. The only reason I was able to settle down was that He gave me the peace to do so. 

I think it is an agony of a type or depth that no one can withstand. 

That is what came to me after praying over my reaction, which had been so strong and so unlike me. It struck so hard.

As I reflect on this again, it seemed as if it would feel like a million of my own children had died and it was the depth of grief inherent only to that kind of pain. It is hard to explain.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012 5:34 pm

 As I was folding clothes, the same sadness crept upon me.  I was keeping my hands busy, but my lungs felt like they couldn’t sigh enough. I want to sleep.

I am, or decided to, pray the Rosary, because it always makes me feel better. So I prayed for my everyone on the first set.  One the second set (of Hail Mary’s) I’m not even sure – perhaps the world (I prayed for the world).

No, I was asking God to give me the strength and certainty and discernment to do the job He wants me to do.  *** We had one of our informal chats that resembles one you might hear between a parent and child.

               “I will try my best to be any tool You would like, My Lord,” and He laughed as I thought of the different tools – a pick, a little shovel, a fingernail (like a picky-picky fingernail).  All I want is to do the job the way He wants me to do it.  So I asked for His strength and guidance, because I don’t know what to do and I’m not brave or anything grand.  At that, as always, I felt the amazing warmth and fullness in my heart. 

God’s hug.

***

 It is manifested in the Eucharist and this lack of understanding hurts us. 

The Warning…it will come. It is coming because we do not believe. Because people reject Me.  It is painful but people must learn and will be given the opportunity to turn to Me in their fear and I will be there for them.  I will be there to save them again. 

The things that will happen will seem cruel – crueler than the world as you know it. 

But it is to help My Children learn. To give you a path to Me.  I want you to come to Me. 

I forgive all sins.  Bring all of your fears to Me.  I love you.  You are My Children. 

Do not forsake Me.

 ****

 Thursday, October 25, 2012 2:05 pm

Once again, I woke up feeling very much a memory of a dream with no other details except a faint thought: Luke (this came to me, sparked by something a friend said, like a word at the tip of one’s tongue).  Luke…48 – 70. ***

He does not want us to respond to people who ridicule us or hurt us for believing in Him. 

Not with our bodies, physically fighting, nor with the bitterness and anger of our words.

He will judge.  He provides comfort through His forgiveness for all who come to Him.  How He loves His Children! What wonders and gifts does He have waiting for us.  And yet we falter still and reject His love.  Do not be afraid. Stand firm and proclaim your faith in Me.  It will grow more difficult soon. Trust in Me for I am the Lord who loves you.

Pray.  Continue to pray. For priests. For the Eucharist. For people traveling.  (I had a vision of a train.)

I am who I am.  I have made this earth for you.  Come embrace Me My Children. For you do not have long.

Will I be here for the Warning?  (I asked and again He told me the same thing because I am curious.)

Do not wish to be here.  There will be great fire storms and pain and darkness.

Dear Lord, how will we survive?

I will be there for you and will guide you to My Light but you must remain faithful and maintain your strong belief in Me.  Do not fear your future, for I am with you My little child. 

You please Me so much.  You are so frail and sweet, loving. You are in My arms.

Say your Rosary, respect the Eucharist, My Holy Mother, Mary.  Always look to her for comfort and guidance.  She will also help you. Watch for her. She will make herself known to you soon. Do not be afraid.  I will show you the way.

And the world?

Surely this world disappoints Me. I am saddened by wars. Violence of men.  These things are not of Me.  Pray that these things become silent.  Pray for the babies.  For their unborn souls are sad.  I will give great glory to the impoverished.  Your mother is My child.  I love her very much.

I’m so afraid this is not You, Lord.  Send me a brick.

Protect your eyes from evil.  Do not be fooled.  I bring joy to those who follow Me.  Spread the Word.  Children turn to Me, for I am one God.  My arms yearn to comfort you. It is for you to decide. Do not betray Me little children. Thank you for your prayers.  I love your prayers.  I hear your prayers.  I am always listening.  I am always there.  Do not be afraid.

Your time is short. Pray for the Priests, the Eucharist...(I had a vision of cornstalks.) The thieves, children, and those who do not believe who will fall into the fire.

 Pray for Pope Benedict and the people of Rome.  For Europe.  Israel. They are in the most danger.  From fire.  Pray for Peace.  And beware of the evil that sits within leadership 

The oceans will be high. 

I wondered if there was a reference to losing Pope Benedict.  Also, I had another vision in my head of an older man sitting in an arena – the UN?.  I was told rightly not to interpret…  

I then said a prayer.  I begged  

 Pray for Pope Benedict and the people of Rome.  For Europe.  Israel. They are in the most danger.  From fire.  Pray for Peace.  And beware of the evil that sits within leadership 

The oceans will be high. 

I wondered if there was a reference to losing Pope Benedict.  Also, I had another vision in my head of an older man sitting in an arena – the UN?.  Ifor discernment; that He might throw me a brick so I could know these words were His and not the work of my imagination.  I am so afraid of that.  That my descriptive disposition will show up and impose itself. So I have asked for a brick, like a fly on my nose, or an itch or a stomach pain…but nothing.  God is never bossed around.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012 4:02 pm

I have been scrambling all week to pray, feeling as if I have been being tugged but unable to respond.  Even my prayers are too fast and sleepy.  The great storm (Sandy) has taken its toll on everyone.  We have no electricity.  This would annoy me if I were working but I am not.

Last night I told S about what was going on with God and me and Fr. Iggie.  His parents…how proud they are.  He doesn’t believe me and I think it was too soon and he doesn’t believe me. 

I’m so sleepy and it’s Halloween and I wish God would “call.”  I miss His messages.  One message I read in the Bible is that as His servant, I can make no claim on His graciousness.

It’s true.

The Children do not know what they do. I have viewed their parents’ hearts.  There is hate there. Divorce. No commitment to their promise to Me.

I had a dream that has stayed with me. It was like a description of humanity and where we stand with Heaven and Hell.

There is a wall that will block everyone; that will not pressure those on one side, but on the other side is the fire pit. The wall pushes people back, but even still, it is not a friendly experience. But not like the fire pit.

There seemed to be a lot of shoving and pushing going on by this side of the wall to either move forward or backwards but to move out of the way at any cost. (I can still see it and feel it.  The wall is light green/blue and it is square and large. Arms are sticking out all over as it drives people back from the edge. People thrash and shove to move.  Some try to move around it; sneak around it to peer, to see what’s on the other side.  I can close my eyes and bring up the vision; it often comes to me and is in mind. 2/6/13) (I can still envision it 3/13/15).

And when does the warning come?

Soon.  Very soon. Bring people to Me.  I am happy and pleased with some of you. But only some.  There are those who pray with empty hearts.

What do you want me to do?

Continue writing these messages. The time will come for you to share them, and you will endure much ridicule, but I will open doors, doors to you.  Do not be afraid.  Where one laughs, ten will be saved.  ****

(He) will believe you.  No, you were not right to tell him. It was too soon – You lost your trust in Me. I will take care of him, My impatient Child. You must know Me better. 

Your head is so full of questions. And you are so tired. You must go to Church and Confession. It is particularly important that you do this. Everyone and especially you.

This will all happen before you are **. My hands always hold you. Let the anger from this life go.  It only brings pain. Pray for the priests, The Eucharist, and the Children who will be scared.